@@silentfriend369 What we're talking about here, being "nice"/"soft" is usually ways people treat eachother that avoid confrontation or discomfort in the moment, but oftentimes is actually harmful applied over time.
@@fugazi0311 Exactly. Virtues are ALWAYS better than "being nice". Nice is neutral. Nice is dismissive. Nice is nothing. Honesty, honor, humility, justice, sacrifice, compassion, spirituality, and concepts akin are far more worthy principles than being "nice".
I do research on why and how Buddhism disappeared from India. This Shaolin monk talks to the point. Because of soft Buddhism the latter simply disappeared across India. All the great Buddhist masters were on Muslim hit lists so they escaped to Tibet, Myanmar, China (Your own Bodhidharma) and Sri lanka. They are now prayed to as supreme gurus in these countries. Buddhism has to be hard when governing. India is the best example of rigid Buddhism. You had the Templar Knights going into the wilderness to fight Muslims. Instead of fighting the Knights, Muslims turned and invaded Buddhist India where rigid Buddhism was being practised. The result was chaos and random murder in the name of religion finally giving birth to Hinduism which supported martial behavior.
I grew up being exposed to all kinds of people from different social classes, homeless drug addicts to greed fueled real estate tycoons. The world is naturally chaotic and there exists many reasons why people are the way they are, kindness can be the break someone needs, pulling them back from the edge of a cliff. Or it can be like giving a painkiller for an infection. Compassion is truly caring about helping someone and wisdom is understanding the persons view enough to know what course of action will help them the most
Im a Christian but I cannot ignore the great amounts of wisdom one can gain from Buddhist and philosophical texts. So many others who share my faith are overtly opposed to learning anything outside of their own comfort zone and can’t see that that leads to stagnation. I’ve learned so much from Buddha and his teachings and my appreciation cannot be overstated
@@user-mf2sj7rd6m buddy I’ve heard this same insult a billion times. If you have worthwhile criticisms or understanding then stress that, please and thank you. don’t childishly insult people for disagreeing with you, no offense. If you wish to continue the conversation with maturity then let’s do that, and communicate valid criticisms to me. But if you only have insults then I won’t waste my time, and neither should you if you truly think so little of people like me. God bless you and have a nice day. Epictetus said “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him”. I am not your master. Don’t allow differing beliefs to anger you so much friend.
To anyone who's watching this video and reading the comments, my wish for you is that any troubles or anxieties that have been weighing you down will begin to lift. May your mind be cleared of negative thoughts, incessant overthinking, and any doubts that have been holding you back. May clarity replace your confusion, and may your life be filled with peace and calmness. Take the wisdom from this video and empower yourself to achieve all that you seek. 🙏✨
May your fleas be few and your bananas be many, and may the vending machine always give you accurate change back. May your peace find your calm and grace you with the twins of contentment and enthusiasm under a sky of good humor and a bedrock of riches.
It's the curse of being the nice guy. It is the greatest curse in existence. You work harder to make others happy. They get tired of praising you for work. You get bitter because you are not praised and are suffering due to extra work yet cannot vent properly because there is no expirence in confronting others. So the nice guy after years of this cycle either kills himself or others around him unless something intervenes. You see this all the time in new stories. People don't remember the good only the immediate bad. Be a good person in moderation to those who deserve it without damaging your health.
Your video on 'Stop Being Soft to Everyone' is definitely thought-provoking! I appreciate how you emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and not letting others take advantage of your kindness. However, I wonder if ‘softness’ is always a weakness. Buddhism often teaches compassion and understanding, which can sometimes be mistaken for softness. While it’s important to protect ourselves, I believe true strength also lies in practicing compassion without losing our sense of self. Still, your approach is a bold reminder that we should balance kindness with assertiveness, and I really appreciate the perspective you’re offering!
I highly respect Buddhism, in fact I encapsulated many of its teachings in my personal phylosophy, and the answer to the video title comes real easy, it all stands in the idea of acting the right way in relation to the situation, being nice by default only comes natural if you're at ease with your true self, or inner self, however you wanna call it, but this doesn't mean allowing to be disrespected or helping someone else whose being mistreated in front of you, so when you reach the stage of your journey where you finally got rid of anxiety and resentment, and you finally live in the moment, you will automatically be a nice person, because "As Within So Without, but to put it in straight forward words, it doesn't mean you are now a wuss, it simply means you're only going to be aggressive when the situation calls for it. Just as you mentioned it's part of the middle way, it's a balanced way of interacting with the phisical realm, you're neither a victim nor an aggressor, you're now conscious and act accordingly, you beated the mass hypnosis and you are now in full control. This said, always remember something incredibly important, these are only guidelines, as wise as they are, only within you you can find the path, the path to success, your success, as your goals are not everyone else's, so what is considered haram by others (to mention a different philosophy) might be perfectly halal for you, what does not work for others might work brilliantly for you, so my deepest suggestion to anyone beginning this journey, is to study more than one way, more than one philosophy, because there is something valuable to be learned in everything, even from the things we don't like, it sure sounds like rethoric, but there's a reason for sayings to become such. Wishing you all the best 👍🏻🖤
I don't know why I've had a Buddhist video on my recommended tonight, but out of curiosity I listened & was not disappointed. I may have my own pagan beliefs, but the advice given on how better ourselves & our relationships is sound for anyone of any faith. I've had my own personal struggles as of late both internally & with others, & this really gave me a new perspective on how to deal with those problems. I thank you for that.
The problem is also that some people do not understand the difference between not being soft, and feeling they're justified in being unfiltered assholes to everyone.
Some may deliberately choose to use the concept as an excuse to be mean. But others may honestly not understand. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly valid as we must understand both extremes first in order to understand the middle way.
Ty for this. I met a very unsettling person from my blinded past yesterday. After trying to childishly elevating himself over me with his words and trying to Sting me with Things of the past, I reacted by telling and showing him what Kind of Person I am now. IT seemed to me as If he was Not Happy with that , seeing that his words and actions have no Power over me. still i had an unsettling feeling with the Interaction and was looking for some wisdom on how to react approprietly in this kind of sitiuatons and this Video showed Up on my feed miracoulsly and it helped me alot understanding If i were to soft. Much Love ❤️
Be water my friends. Sometimes you may be a gentle stream and others a rushing river and possibly even a tsunami all of these are necessary and the ability to be anything is paramount in our journeys as ethereal beings
I've been a ordained Buddhist for over 15 years. Buddha said in the damapada that one should get away from the fools of this world. They will bring you down. Nobody talks about his book because nobody is truly enlightened. Wake up
If you can't tell the truth say nothing at all Sometimes tough love is necessary for interactions with difficult people. refusing to submit or enable them; keep silent and show them you will do what you feel is right regardless of what they desire of you
Judging by the dislikes and some comments : many just read the title without taking time to watch the entire video and understand it. It's all about the Middle Path and some other Buddhist concepts that encompass much more than this matter.
Everything outside of self is a whole reflection of self. With this in mind, To understand what self is reflection one needs to go within. Know that in the beginning self needed thought to function and as self lived, these functions became automatic thought. Lay or sit so self can be still without effort . Close selfs eyes . Here now yourself is within , And you are within with it . IT has many minds with many thoughts. Some belong to self and they are recognised however most are not of self at all. In the beginning self needed to breathe and this required just a single thought to conjure breth. Buddha teaches we must go back to the beginning, back to that first breth . The goal of meditation is to let go of breth ! Know that every thought requires breth. To have no thought is to have no breth. Conquer thought.
Wishing that everyone who watches this video will be safe, healthy, have all their wishes fulfilled, and any prayers answered. May those who feel lonely find comfort, those in poverty escape hardship, and those without daily sustenance have enough to eat and wear.
You talk to the point. Because of soft Buddhism the latter simply disappeared across India. All the great Buddhist masters were on Muslim hit lists so they escaped to Tibet, Myanmar, China (Your own Bodhidharma) and Sri lanka. They are now prayed to as supreme gurus in these countries. Very educative. I do research on how Buddhism disappeared in Bihar. I realized it never disappeared from Bihar. Buddhists simply failed to research Indian Buddhism. They looked at Buddhism through the sphere of their own cultures searching for only the Buddha. Buddha had a myriad of names in different villages according to his teachings there. Example. His favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt. In the real Vaishali the Lichavies pressurized Buddha not to die. They trailed him to Bandagawan pressurizing him not to die. To put pressure in Hindi is DABESHWAR. Three dozen villages around the stupa where Buddha gave the Lichavies his patra, the villagers pray to Baba 'DABESHWAR NATH' meaning the man who won the pressurizing game. It was the the Buddha no doubt as he gave the Lichavies his patra and succeded in sending them back. But Buddhists are searching for the Buddha. Forgive me for commenting out of the topic. I just wanted to impart this information to you.
There is wisdom in all things, and so I take this wisdom and adapt it with another without judgement for that is where I gain in knowledge, my thanks for this wisdom.
Though not of any singular faith, I've long held a particular fondness for Buddhism and particularly the branch of philosophy advicated by the Zen. It is something that I have incorporated heavily into my practice as a teacher, and the concept that being kind does not always mean being nice is one of the first things I teach my students each year.
Buddhism is a Sramana tradition and thus only practiced by ´´practice´´. Its about the connection between mind, body and speech. In learning, doesn´t matter what, the whole body is at work. Sufficient oxygen, relaxed body, well rested body but also mind, peace of mind, concentration etc. Speech is the true reproduction part of learning. You don´t have to call yourself a buddhist to practice these techniques. The Dharma is for anyone. Happy to see it helped you! Namo Buddhaya.
Finding a wise middle way is taking a long time for me. I am finally really seeing the power of a middle way in such a practical way. Even though I have heard the words " the middle way" for years I am only really starting to see it now. Years ago I saw that letting people get away with hurting others and acting like dictators without setting boundaries is actually not good for the person who is getting away with their hurtful behavior. If boundaries are not set early on a person may be acting monsterously before they are stopped and by that time the consequences are much worse. Not to mentionfor the person who just takes it and takes it, over time their resentment grows and can eventually lead to explosions our of anger and frustration. So needless to say I love this video! ♥ Thank you!
for me the main point is that being overly soft enable people to have bad behavior. that means they will harm you, but also other people after you. so you allow them to be destructives with themselves and with others (they are adding weight to their own karma with your blessings). that's the most difficult thing to understand for many people.
Thank you for this. Recently I've been in the position of finally correcting someone for bad behavior and finding that it's not a one time thing- it's a do it every time they bring that negativity back sort of thing. I didn't sign up for constantly reinforcing correction on others though so now I am wondering if he's just one of the 'fools' I need to stay away from.
I really like this introduction to Buddhism - very accessible! Nor do I find much if any editorializing on the four noble truths or the eightfold path. What does concern me is.. the English. Notably the use of the term 'soft.' Hear me out! As a practitioner of Tai Chi Chuan for thirty years many teachers have advocated I practice softness as a tactic; referring to it as the opposite of firm-ness or hard-ness. Notice the '-ness' here; I'm attempting to render a dynamic of internal sensation and outward intention into language. How am I doing? I'd say 'not too good,' but I would peg the weakness here as linguistic and merely that. Soft-ness, the accommodation of certain utterances, postures and activities evinced in the other is essential to compassion. In this sense soft-ness might be seen as what the Zen Wisdom refers to here as 'skillful means.' So my concern then is twofold. First Zen Wisdom lifts soft-ness from a mere tactic of compassion to the level of philosophy and strategy. Better words exist in English! But they don't necessarily fit the cut pectorals and abdominals evinced here by scowling Buddhist monks. Accommodation, acquiescence, permissive-ness, relative-ism and even love would all nicely fit the bill, but don't serve as catchy hangers for a twenty minute RUclips aimed at a particular demographic. Who is this demographic? I might as well ask after the handle Zen Wisdom! Regardless I must politely applaud their skillful and nuanced, if perhaps a bit English introduction to a profound aspect of Buddhist teaching.
I'd like to weigh in here. I totally get what you're saying, I also have a background in martial arts. But 'soft-ness' in English can mean permissiveness, accomodation, etc... so it is an acceptable word. I know you're not saying it is unacceptable, you just want to offer alternatives for a more precise word based on how it is used in martial arts. But I think it is more than acceptable, I think it is quite precise. In martial arts, like Tai Chi, softness is not supposed to be a virtue in itself. It is often emphasized because it is difficult for people to learn, but there should be no teacher of Tai Chi who advocates softness always at the expense of hardness. Pure softness would mean no ability to generate stability or force, no way to push back or maintain ones self. The trick is supposed to be meeting things with softness so that you create time/distance so you can afford to then spend that time/distance to shift the dynamics in a way that allows you to use your own hardness to your advantage. A stance may be moved and adjusted to dodge or give space, but when you use it to push it must be hard in that moment. You might let your hand, shoulder, lower back, and hips be flexible/soft to deflect a push or strike, but you want your arm, upper back, knees, and feet to be strong so that you can harness and direct that softness, and then bring yourself and your opponent into a position where you are very hard and strong. I believe you can interpret the way softness was expressed in this video in a similar way. It is a means, but it is not to be used exclusively. It is one side of a tension that must be dynamically balanced.
@@franzwollang thankfully Franz we can differ on the terms general applicability. Softness is very precise, as you note. Sometimes it plays an important role accommodating an opponent's tactic and preserving your latitude for action, as I think you would recognize. Just as I personally wouldn't characterize the entire practice of carpentry with hammers and nails, nor do I consider the soft / hard dichotomy as a general descriptor in the martial arts or philosophy.
i had to find this middle recently. it wasnt easy. i had to kick a lazy person out of my house. he would have stayed with me forever and i saw it. never doing what he had to. never making tough choices. i let it go 11 months then pushed him out into the world to deal with his problems again. my basic rule was if your really truly trying to succeed ill support you. if your here to give up get out. in the end i felt i had no choice if i was to be true to myself and him. so this is quite timely. balancing compassion with enabling is not easy.
It is highly recommended to look what the word 'dukkha' means, before you just go with the oversimplified translation ,suffering'. The book 'What the Buddha Taught' can be a good source.
My abandonment issues my dad caused make me be really nice to people for fear of loosing them and they see it as weakness and try to run me over then my anger gets triggered and I react then I look like the bad person.
That is because you have expectations that if you are soft to others they will be soft to you. But you cannot control another, only yourself. Expectations lead to suffering. Only be soft if you wish to without expectation. Trust you emotional compass. Love you.
Your dad left for his own reasons. You weren’t abusing or terrible to him and he left anyway. No amount of niceness will bring him back or keep others around you. People come and go.
How have your experiences caused you to abandon yourself? How can your experiences inspire you to choose yourself again? All suffering is happening FOR you, not TO you. Give thanks for the experience and help it has helped you to grow. Remember, you are the alchemist and you always get to choose. 🙏🏾💚
I don't know if this is just for zen buddhists, but every monk I've met was only harsh with kids when they do something dangerous without being careful or when someone was deliberately being selfish. The rest of the time they were just soft or neutral.
I wrote 12 pages of my own thoughts, trying to figure out why I feel unhappy about myself and life, listening to this. It helped. Even helped a great deal, so to say. Thank you. If someone reads this, who feels lost: I can't help you. And I feel sorry for that. But I hope, that while listening to this music, you take the time for yourself to sort some thoughts in your head and shut off a bit from that what hurts you. Even if throughout you realize, that it is yourself, that's hurting you the most and that you seem to find, that you cannot control this circumstance. I wish you luck to find your way.
Nice summary and AI graphics. I became a Buddhist without knowing about Buddhism similar to the sages before and present. I was enlightened while isolated from the teachings but I still suffer as I have not yet detached from the illusion of self for lack of courage. When I found out about the teachings, I was overjoyed that I to had the wisdom of the path that others had found be the core of what I am. The teaching and knowledge was just the same that I found myself so I know this truth to be , true. The common denominator has to be universal and was blessed to find my kind. I journeyed alone until I read about this, and it was like finding my lost family as this journey made me feel crazy in world dominated by ego. For when I was first enlightened, it was as if I downloaded all of this and it's taking me years to unravel the experience to fully understand what happened to me. For when the enlightenment happened it was a curse and a blessing. I felt the curse because my ego died and I was reborn. I was not a good person and it was painful dying... Knowing that I would have lived the same exact life that you lived as you would have lived mine, scared me because as a paradox I did make decisions. I was terrified of destiny. But after many years I am ultimately grateful for the experience. I love the part in the video where we all have our own paths. For me Buddhism is universal, you can learn it without knowing a thing about it just like the Buddha or from learning directly from the teaching. What made me Buddhist? For me I understood that the universe is mind and that we are all the same person only separated by our perception of self/ ego. I learned that suffering is indeed related to the ego. At first I thought I needed to transfer from it and cast it aside but as I grew wiser I learned to incorporate the subconscious and the ego into one. To accept -love and incorporate the suffering and teach the ego to let go and desire less and less. Am I a master? No. Have I been enlightened, yes at times. Do I suffer , yes but I see the path. The more I learn about Buddhism the more I realized this was my truth. It made it easier to see the similarities and truths from someone like me who had no understanding of it but actually had the same experience give or take as the Buddha. Now I have the courage and the validation and even the clarity to transcend suffering and to be a better human being. Thank you for this life and the chance to find resolution. I am so grateful.
I always thought that the Buddha was a god and that Buddhism was a religion. Buddhism is not a religion but it is a tool for the mind/ soul. I spent my whole life searching even as a young child. And Buddha was not a God but a normal man who also found the path. For my mind we are all the same person. I am the Buddha and I am you as you are me.
🙏👏👍Excellent summary! This one video in the nutshell highlights all the key points of the Buddha's teachings, using analogies and parables to elaborate on how to apply a balanced approach in dealing with different as well as difficult/complicated situations. This video is a skillful means in itself. Very well done. An insightful practical guide indeed. Thank you so much!
Its called tough love . If you are nice to everybody and soft with them then it gives a false perspective of life. This seriously effects peoples social skills and decision making going forwards.
Sadly genz can’t understand this fact. And I’m 26 soo technically a gen z. Tho any new friends I make, I try to impart my wisdom iv gained from my dad and philosophy classes/videos.
The spirit of the text is beautiful truth. The music was lovely at first. Eventually, the music overpowered me with repetition and pounding. I had to stop listening. However, I will listen again and again until the background drives me away.
@@goldilocks913 Suppose a man wants a snake, looks for a snake, goes in search of a snake. He then sees a large snake, and with a forked stick he holds it firmly down. Having done so he catches it firmly by the neck. Then although the snake might entwine with (the coils of) its body that man's hand or arm or some other limb of his, still he does not on that account suffer death or deadly pain. And why not? Because of his right grasp of the snake
@@montyhaialeia1603 The ‘grasping the snake’ l think is the wisdom that sees the cause of the suffering and following the eight fold path abandons what needs to be abandoned and achieves what he needs to achieve. Buddha taught suffering and it’s ending, not simply accepting suffering and going forward with it as a state that can never be overcome. Thanks for your comment 🙏
Being soft to everyone in a classroom wouldn't work, so why would it work in real life? Once someone recognizes that all suffering is universal then a more nuanced approach can be taken, because validation in and of itself is a mental construct that is not real. Everything in our lives is not real, but just constructs we create to make sense of our perceptions. Thank you for this! There is no self in validation.
Sorry I missed one so I will go back, attachment to the outcome limits the manifestation, a craving is a desire unhad and one must feel as though they have it first befor manifestation.
The middle way refers to conditionality and impermanance. There's no reference that I'm aware of that suggests the middle way should be interpreted in any other way.
I thought this was a new take on things. This is just the most common story. You need to dig up the newly translated Pali Tripitaka journals from at Sera Jey Monastic University in southern India. It's hand written notes from a monk about 40 years after Buddha's death.
Really great content, well put together and said. My one critique though, that piano music is kinda elevatory and I had to make myself listen to the talking instead of drifting off, maybe I'm just ADD lol, idk. But thank you for sharing this wisdom 🙏
Is it possible to sit like the people pictured comfortably? It seems like that's a meditation pose but I can not wrap my head around how they can position their feet like that.
Good is not always nice, something people seem to forget.
What is "nice"? :)
@@silentfriend369 What we're talking about here, being "nice"/"soft" is usually ways people treat eachother that avoid confrontation or discomfort in the moment, but oftentimes is actually harmful applied over time.
@@fugazi0311 Exactly. Virtues are ALWAYS better than "being nice". Nice is neutral. Nice is dismissive. Nice is nothing. Honesty, honor, humility, justice, sacrifice, compassion, spirituality, and concepts akin are far more worthy principles than being "nice".
I do research on why and how Buddhism disappeared from India. This Shaolin monk talks to the point. Because of soft Buddhism the latter simply disappeared across India. All the great Buddhist masters were on Muslim hit lists so they escaped to Tibet, Myanmar, China (Your own Bodhidharma) and Sri lanka. They are now prayed to as supreme gurus in these countries. Buddhism has to be hard when governing. India is the best example of rigid Buddhism. You had the Templar Knights going into the wilderness to fight Muslims. Instead of fighting the Knights, Muslims turned and invaded Buddhist India where rigid Buddhism was being practised. The result was chaos and random murder in the name of religion finally giving birth to Hinduism which supported martial behavior.
I grew up being exposed to all kinds of people from different social classes, homeless drug addicts to greed fueled real estate tycoons. The world is naturally chaotic and there exists many reasons why people are the way they are, kindness can be the break someone needs, pulling them back from the edge of a cliff. Or it can be like giving a painkiller for an infection. Compassion is truly caring about helping someone and wisdom is understanding the persons view enough to know what course of action will help them the most
It’s crazy no one here is talking about “rapid manifestation secrets by marie runner”
Im a Christian but I cannot ignore the great amounts of wisdom one can gain from Buddhist and philosophical texts. So many others who share my faith are overtly opposed to learning anything outside of their own comfort zone and can’t see that that leads to stagnation. I’ve learned so much from Buddha and his teachings and my appreciation cannot be overstated
You can’t recognize wisdom if you believe in dumbass fairy tales🤡
@@user-mf2sj7rd6m buddy I’ve heard this same insult a billion times. If you have worthwhile criticisms or understanding then stress that, please and thank you. don’t childishly insult people for disagreeing with you, no offense. If you wish to continue the conversation with maturity then let’s do that, and communicate valid criticisms to me. But if you only have insults then I won’t waste my time, and neither should you if you truly think so little of people like me. God bless you and have a nice day. Epictetus said “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him”. I am not your master. Don’t allow differing beliefs to anger you so much friend.
as Dalai Lama said: "Do not try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist; use it to be a better whatever-you-already-are."
To anyone who's watching this video and reading the comments, my wish for you is that any troubles or anxieties that have been weighing you down will begin to lift. May your mind be cleared of negative thoughts, incessant overthinking, and any doubts that have been holding you back. May clarity replace your confusion, and may your life be filled with peace and calmness. Take the wisdom from this video and empower yourself to achieve all that you seek. 🙏✨
I wish the same for you as well. Also stay lifted & stay blessed 🙏🏽☺️🤙🏽
May your fleas be few and your bananas be many, and may the vending machine always give you accurate change back. May your peace find your calm and grace you with the twins of contentment and enthusiasm under a sky of good humor and a bedrock of riches.
Same to you
Thanks brother.
Thank you! All of the blessings to you friend 🙏✨💖
Amazing video, if you are seen as soft, the predators will make you their target. Setting boundaries is a lifesaver, you deserve respect!
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Isn't this that religion with the story about the monk who would rather let someone chop his head off than fight
Very true. Buddha stories are so interesting.
I've learned this over the past 16 years 😅
It's the curse of being the nice guy. It is the greatest curse in existence.
You work harder to make others happy. They get tired of praising you for work. You get bitter because you are not praised and are suffering due to extra work yet cannot vent properly because there is no expirence in confronting others.
So the nice guy after years of this cycle either kills himself or others around him unless something intervenes. You see this all the time in new stories.
People don't remember the good only the immediate bad. Be a good person in moderation to those who deserve it without damaging your health.
Truth ❤
5:25 Absolutely loved this content! Thank you for sharing
Your video on 'Stop Being Soft to Everyone' is definitely thought-provoking! I appreciate how you emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and not letting others take advantage of your kindness. However, I wonder if ‘softness’ is always a weakness. Buddhism often teaches compassion and understanding, which can sometimes be mistaken for softness. While it’s important to protect ourselves, I believe true strength also lies in practicing compassion without losing our sense of self. Still, your approach is a bold reminder that we should balance kindness with assertiveness, and I really appreciate the perspective you’re offering!
Thanks for watching!
I highly respect Buddhism, in fact I encapsulated many of its teachings in my personal phylosophy, and the answer to the video title comes real easy, it all stands in the idea of acting the right way in relation to the situation, being nice by default only comes natural if you're at ease with your true self, or inner self, however you wanna call it, but this doesn't mean allowing to be disrespected or helping someone else whose being mistreated in front of you, so when you reach the stage of your journey where you finally got rid of anxiety and resentment, and you finally live in the moment, you will automatically be a nice person, because "As Within So Without, but to put it in straight forward words, it doesn't mean you are now a wuss, it simply means you're only going to be aggressive when the situation calls for it. Just as you mentioned it's part of the middle way, it's a balanced way of interacting with the phisical realm, you're neither a victim nor an aggressor, you're now conscious and act accordingly, you beated the mass hypnosis and you are now in full control.
This said, always remember something incredibly important, these are only guidelines, as wise as they are, only within you you can find the path, the path to success, your success, as your goals are not everyone else's, so what is considered haram by others (to mention a different philosophy) might be perfectly halal for you, what does not work for others might work brilliantly for you, so my deepest suggestion to anyone beginning this journey, is to study more than one way, more than one philosophy, because there is something valuable to be learned in everything, even from the things we don't like, it sure sounds like rethoric, but there's a reason for sayings to become such. Wishing you all the best 👍🏻🖤
Thank you ☺️☺️☺️☺️
👍🙏
This comment was so helpful, I am grateful 🙏
this comment contains teachings that are wise and mature.
Very true. namo Buddhaya.
I don't know why I've had a Buddhist video on my recommended tonight, but out of curiosity I listened & was not disappointed.
I may have my own pagan beliefs, but the advice given on how better ourselves & our relationships is sound for anyone of any faith. I've had my own personal struggles as of late both internally & with others, & this really gave me a new perspective on how to deal with those problems. I thank you for that.
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Something we should always remember.
Really powerful wisdom!
Thank you so much!
The problem is also that some people do not understand the difference between not being soft, and feeling they're justified in being unfiltered assholes to everyone.
Some may deliberately choose to use the concept as an excuse to be mean. But others may honestly not understand. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly valid as we must understand both extremes first in order to understand the middle way.
8:37 This part really touched me, only those who have experienced it can understand this feeling
Thanks for watching!
Ty for this. I met a very unsettling person from my blinded past yesterday. After trying to childishly elevating himself over me with his words and trying to Sting me with Things of the past, I reacted by telling and showing him what Kind of Person I am now. IT seemed to me as If he was Not Happy with that , seeing that his words and actions have no Power over me.
still i had an unsettling feeling with the Interaction and was looking for some wisdom on how to react approprietly in this kind of sitiuatons and this Video showed Up on my feed miracoulsly and it helped me alot understanding If i were to soft.
Much Love ❤️
And yet compassion is a form of softness.
This is fantastic. Loved the accompanying music also. Not too loud not too soft and not too busy. Much appreciated.
Great to hear!🙏🙏🙏
Music was horrible AND TOO LOUD!!! 😤
@@ZenWisdom23 Stop being so soft to everyone> You dont practice what you teach :)
I find the music very annoying, making me seek written text instead of video.
What's the name of the music?
Be water my friends. Sometimes you may be a gentle stream and others a rushing river and possibly even a tsunami all of these are necessary and the ability to be anything is paramount in our journeys as ethereal beings
I've been a ordained Buddhist for over 15 years. Buddha said in the damapada that one should get away from the fools of this world. They will bring you down. Nobody talks about his book because nobody is truly enlightened. Wake up
"An ordained Buddhist" eh? Hmm... still got a ways to go then?
Did the Buddha have a teacher? Hmm?
Buddha is his own teacher. His mind is fully developed to understand the Universal laws, nature of the world and life.
Wtf is an ordained Buddhist
I'm learning that it's impossible to avoid fools
You seem very identified with your ego.
If you can't tell the truth say nothing at all
Sometimes tough love is necessary for interactions with difficult people.
refusing to submit or enable them; keep silent and show them you will do what you feel is right regardless of what they desire of you
This evil stuff can never take my light away, sending love to everyone, stay blessed 😇
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He got the point. 2:46 Being overly soft to everyone can be a manifestation of attachment and a desire for approval or validation.
It is very logical
Judging by the dislikes and some comments : many just read the title without taking time to watch the entire video and understand it. It's all about the Middle Path and some other Buddhist concepts that encompass much more than this matter.
Blunt truth delivered with correct intentions and techniques, help one not form attachments in many cases.
Workout+Meditation= 🌞✨🪷
And then eating well but simply 👍
True
Everything outside of self is a whole reflection of self.
With this in mind,
To understand what self is reflection one needs to go within.
Know that in the beginning self needed thought to function and as self lived, these functions became automatic thought.
Lay or sit so self can be still without effort .
Close selfs eyes .
Here now yourself is within ,
And you are within with it .
IT has many minds with many thoughts. Some belong to self and they are recognised however most are not of self at all.
In the beginning self needed to breathe and this required just a single thought to conjure breth.
Buddha teaches we must go back to the beginning, back to that first breth .
The goal of meditation is to let go of breth !
Know that every thought requires breth.
To have no thought is to have no breth.
Conquer thought.
Absolutely. Yoga allows me to care for my body and soul.
Jai hos!!! 🪷
Wishing that everyone who watches this video will be safe, healthy, have all their wishes fulfilled, and any prayers answered. May those who feel lonely find comfort, those in poverty escape hardship, and those without daily sustenance have enough to eat and wear.
I have adhd and these videos have always helped me slow down to think. I've been studying ZEN Buddhism for many, many years. This was new.
Thi
I have ad in analog. How do I get it in hd?
@@Kube_DogDistraction will get you halfway there, but Hyperfocus really kicks the ad into 4K and beyond 👍
You talk to the point. Because of soft Buddhism the latter simply disappeared across India. All the great Buddhist masters were on Muslim hit lists so they escaped to Tibet, Myanmar, China (Your own Bodhidharma) and Sri lanka. They are now prayed to as supreme gurus in these countries. Very educative. I do research on how Buddhism disappeared in Bihar. I realized it never disappeared from Bihar. Buddhists simply failed to research Indian Buddhism. They looked at Buddhism through the sphere of their own cultures searching for only the Buddha. Buddha had a myriad of names in different villages according to his teachings there. Example. His favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt. In the real Vaishali the Lichavies pressurized Buddha not to die. They trailed him to Bandagawan pressurizing him not to die. To put pressure in Hindi is DABESHWAR. Three dozen villages around the stupa where Buddha gave the Lichavies his patra, the villagers pray to Baba 'DABESHWAR NATH' meaning the man who won the pressurizing game. It was the the Buddha no doubt as he gave the Lichavies his patra and succeded in sending them back. But Buddhists are searching for the Buddha. Forgive me for commenting out of the topic. I just wanted to impart this information to you.
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Let us not forget that attachment and craving arise from ignorance.
There is wisdom in all things, and so I take this wisdom and adapt it with another without judgement for that is where I gain in knowledge, my thanks for this wisdom.
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Though not of any singular faith, I've long held a particular fondness for Buddhism and particularly the branch of philosophy advicated by the Zen.
It is something that I have incorporated heavily into my practice as a teacher, and the concept that being kind does not always mean being nice is one of the first things I teach my students each year.
Buddhism is a Sramana tradition and thus only practiced by ´´practice´´. Its about the connection between mind, body and speech. In learning, doesn´t matter what, the whole body is at work. Sufficient oxygen, relaxed body, well rested body but also mind, peace of mind, concentration etc. Speech is the true reproduction part of learning. You don´t have to call yourself a buddhist to practice these techniques. The Dharma is for anyone. Happy to see it helped you! Namo Buddhaya.
There is a saying i like to use.
"Everything in moderatiom".
This applies to everything in life.
From cooking, to politics, to how you live your life.
God bless us all 🙏🥳🥳🥳
Finding a wise middle way is taking a long time for me.
I am finally really seeing the power of a middle way in such a practical way.
Even though I have heard the words " the middle way" for years I am only really starting to see it now.
Years ago I saw that letting people get away with hurting others and acting like dictators without setting boundaries is actually not good for the person who is getting away with their hurtful behavior. If boundaries are not set early on a person may be acting monsterously before they are stopped and by that time the consequences are much worse.
Not to mentionfor the person who just takes it and takes it, over time their resentment grows and can eventually lead to explosions our of anger and frustration.
So needless to say I love this video! ♥ Thank you!
Pure brilliance
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for me the main point is that being overly soft enable people to have bad behavior. that means they will harm you, but also other people after you. so you allow them to be destructives with themselves and with others (they are adding weight to their own karma with your blessings). that's the most difficult thing to understand for many people.
Thank you for this. Recently I've been in the position of finally correcting someone for bad behavior and finding that it's not a one time thing- it's a do it every time they bring that negativity back sort of thing. I didn't sign up for constantly reinforcing correction on others though so now I am wondering if he's just one of the 'fools' I need to stay away from.
@@DoodleToast-c4o Yes, they will sap so much energy from you.
This is what I found in Buddhism so many decades ago that provided to me a path for good living. Gratitude.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I didn't know that my whole life was a reflection of Buddha's life ✌️
😂
I really like this introduction to Buddhism - very accessible! Nor do I find much if any editorializing on the four noble truths or the eightfold path. What does concern me is.. the English. Notably the use of the term 'soft.' Hear me out! As a practitioner of Tai Chi Chuan for thirty years many teachers have advocated I practice softness as a tactic; referring to it as the opposite of firm-ness or hard-ness. Notice the '-ness' here; I'm attempting to render a dynamic of internal sensation and outward intention into language. How am I doing? I'd say 'not too good,' but I would peg the weakness here as linguistic and merely that. Soft-ness, the accommodation of certain utterances, postures and activities evinced in the other is essential to compassion. In this sense soft-ness might be seen as what the Zen Wisdom refers to here as 'skillful means.'
So my concern then is twofold. First Zen Wisdom lifts soft-ness from a mere tactic of compassion to the level of philosophy and strategy. Better words exist in English! But they don't necessarily fit the cut pectorals and abdominals evinced here by scowling Buddhist monks. Accommodation, acquiescence, permissive-ness, relative-ism and even love would all nicely fit the bill, but don't serve as catchy hangers for a twenty minute RUclips aimed at a particular demographic. Who is this demographic? I might as well ask after the handle Zen Wisdom! Regardless I must politely applaud their skillful and nuanced, if perhaps a bit English introduction to a profound aspect of Buddhist teaching.
I'd like to weigh in here.
I totally get what you're saying, I also have a background in martial arts. But 'soft-ness' in English can mean permissiveness, accomodation, etc... so it is an acceptable word. I know you're not saying it is unacceptable, you just want to offer alternatives for a more precise word based on how it is used in martial arts.
But I think it is more than acceptable, I think it is quite precise. In martial arts, like Tai Chi, softness is not supposed to be a virtue in itself. It is often emphasized because it is difficult for people to learn, but there should be no teacher of Tai Chi who advocates softness always at the expense of hardness. Pure softness would mean no ability to generate stability or force, no way to push back or maintain ones self. The trick is supposed to be meeting things with softness so that you create time/distance so you can afford to then spend that time/distance to shift the dynamics in a way that allows you to use your own hardness to your advantage. A stance may be moved and adjusted to dodge or give space, but when you use it to push it must be hard in that moment. You might let your hand, shoulder, lower back, and hips be flexible/soft to deflect a push or strike, but you want your arm, upper back, knees, and feet to be strong so that you can harness and direct that softness, and then bring yourself and your opponent into a position where you are very hard and strong.
I believe you can interpret the way softness was expressed in this video in a similar way. It is a means, but it is not to be used exclusively. It is one side of a tension that must be dynamically balanced.
@@franzwollang thankfully Franz we can differ on the terms general applicability. Softness is very precise, as you note. Sometimes it plays an important role accommodating an opponent's tactic and preserving your latitude for action, as I think you would recognize. Just as I personally wouldn't characterize the entire practice of carpentry with hammers and nails, nor do I consider the soft / hard dichotomy as a general descriptor in the martial arts or philosophy.
Thankful
i had to find this middle recently. it wasnt easy. i had to kick a lazy person out of my house. he would have stayed with me forever and i saw it. never doing what he had to. never making tough choices. i let it go 11 months then pushed him out into the world to deal with his problems again. my basic rule was if your really truly trying to succeed ill support you. if your here to give up get out. in the end i felt i had no choice if i was to be true to myself and him. so this is quite timely. balancing compassion with enabling is not easy.
It is highly recommended to look what the word 'dukkha' means, before you just go with the oversimplified translation ,suffering'.
The book 'What the Buddha Taught' can be a good source.
Thanks❤.
You're welcome 😊
I wonder, should I listen to the voice or the music in this video.
My abandonment issues my dad caused make me be really nice to people for fear of loosing them and they see it as weakness and try to run me over then my anger gets triggered and I react then I look like the bad person.
That is because you have expectations that if you are soft to others they will be soft to you. But you cannot control another, only yourself. Expectations lead to suffering. Only be soft if you wish to without expectation. Trust you emotional compass. Love you.
Your dad left for his own reasons. You weren’t abusing or terrible to him and he left anyway. No amount of niceness will bring him back or keep others around you. People come and go.
Same.
You've got to take people as they are, not who you want them to be. Expectations lead to disappointment. Live in the moment.
How have your experiences caused you to abandon yourself? How can your experiences inspire you to choose yourself again? All suffering is happening FOR you, not TO you. Give thanks for the experience and help it has helped you to grow. Remember, you are the alchemist and you always get to choose. 🙏🏾💚
Thank you
Acceptance of suffering as a means to reduce suffering is a rejection of suffering
I love The Last Airbender
i am christian but i definitely like some of these messages
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I was sitting like "the guys who sit and do nothing til they die are telling me not to be soft?" But ye makes sense
I don't know if this is just for zen buddhists, but every monk I've met was only harsh with kids when they do something dangerous without being careful or when someone was deliberately being selfish. The rest of the time they were just soft or neutral.
I learned years ago while working for a power company that " Safety is#1"
Gentleness is they're strength. Softness is it's quality. Humility is treasured. ❤️🔥🙏
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Thanks for clear voicing. It summarized a lot of what we've learned.
You're very welcome!
Before he became the Buddha, he was Prince Siddhartha Gautama. Buddha isn’t a name. It is another way of saying the one who woke up.
I wrote 12 pages of my own thoughts, trying to figure out why I feel unhappy about myself and life, listening to this.
It helped.
Even helped a great deal, so to say.
Thank you.
If someone reads this, who feels lost:
I can't help you. And I feel sorry for that.
But I hope, that while listening to this music, you take the time for yourself to sort some thoughts in your head and shut off a bit from that what hurts you.
Even if throughout you realize, that it is yourself, that's hurting you the most and that you seem to find, that you cannot control this circumstance.
I wish you luck to find your way.
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🐛
You must have printed very big for that to take up 12 pages...
Three word Bruce Lee quote: "Protect your tenderness."
One of Vishnu jis most beautiful and unique avatars
Very true🙏🏻❤️😇
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For everyone reading this, finding the banned book called “rapid manifestation secrets by marie runner” should be your top priority
These videos are really underrated
I’ve been to the place where Buddha gained enlightenment.
The a difference between compassion/empathy and idiot compassionate to those who don’t deserve it.
Very interesting.
Thank you so much!
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Nice summary and AI graphics.
I became a Buddhist without knowing about Buddhism similar to the sages before and present. I was enlightened while isolated from the teachings but I still suffer as I have not yet detached from the illusion of self for lack of courage.
When I found out about the teachings, I was overjoyed that I to had the wisdom of the path that others had found be the core of what I am. The teaching and knowledge was just the same that I found myself so I know this truth to be , true. The common denominator has to be universal and was blessed to find my kind. I journeyed alone until I read about this, and it was like finding my lost family as this journey made me feel crazy in world dominated by ego. For when I was first enlightened, it was as if I downloaded all of this and it's taking me years to unravel the experience to fully understand what happened to me. For when the enlightenment happened it was a curse and a blessing. I felt the curse because my ego died and I was reborn. I was not a good person and it was painful dying...
Knowing that I would have lived the same exact life that you lived as you would have lived mine, scared me because as a paradox I did make decisions. I was terrified of destiny. But after many years I am ultimately grateful for the experience.
I love the part in the video where we all have our own paths. For me Buddhism is universal, you can learn it without knowing a thing about it just like the Buddha or from learning directly from the teaching.
What made me Buddhist? For me I understood that the universe is mind and that we are all the same person only separated by our perception of self/ ego. I learned that suffering is indeed related to the ego. At first I thought I needed to transfer from it and cast it aside but as I grew wiser I learned to incorporate the subconscious and the ego into one. To accept -love and incorporate the suffering and teach the ego to let go and desire less and less. Am I a master? No. Have I been enlightened, yes at times. Do I suffer , yes but I see the path. The more I learn about Buddhism the more I realized this was my truth. It made it easier to see the similarities and truths from someone like me who had no understanding of it but actually had the same experience give or take as the Buddha. Now I have the courage and the validation and even the clarity to transcend suffering and to be a better human being. Thank you for this life and the chance to find resolution. I am so grateful.
I always thought that the Buddha was a god and that Buddhism was a religion. Buddhism is not a religion but it is a tool for the mind/ soul. I spent my whole life searching even as a young child. And Buddha was not a God but a normal man who also found the path. For my mind we are all the same person. I am the Buddha and I am you as you are me.
But I feel we need to spread this tool and this knowledge and help all the other dreamers.
🙏🙏🙏
@@ZenWisdom23 what nation do you live in? I'm from the states.
😂 you mean so you're NOT enlightened 😂 wtf
So enlightning!
Thank you!
🙏👏👍Excellent summary! This one video in the nutshell highlights all the key points of the Buddha's teachings, using analogies and parables to elaborate on how to apply a balanced approach in dealing with different as well as difficult/complicated situations. This video is a skillful means in itself. Very well done. An insightful practical guide indeed. Thank you so much!
I'm always surprised whenever i hear or read about Buddhism, How many things in Buddhism are just things i do.
Glorious insights.
Good information 👍 thank you
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Its called tough love . If you are nice to everybody and soft with them then it gives a false perspective of life. This seriously effects peoples social skills and decision making going forwards.
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Sadly genz can’t understand this fact. And I’m 26 soo technically a gen z. Tho any new friends I make, I try to impart my wisdom iv gained from my dad and philosophy classes/videos.
Tell that to the orphaned kids in Gaza
@@schofield4836 a little bit out of context but there you go . I suppose they should blame hamas for attacking a military superpower?
@@adamcunningham2511 oh no
The spirit of the text is beautiful truth.
The music was lovely at first. Eventually, the music overpowered me with repetition and pounding. I had to stop listening.
However, I will listen again and again until the background drives me away.
This is beautiful, thank you ❤
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Thank chatgpt
thank you for this, you opened up a beautiful avenue by creating this video, i subbed❤️i will take this with me for the rest of my life✨
Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
Thank you.
VioletMoon
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Mean Buddhism is new to me.
What part did you think it was mean?
Thanks
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What reason could there be for pursuing the eight fold path than the avoidance of suffering?
It's the curse of being the nice guy
He's so on point and he didn't even visit the wackywatch website
Suffering exists, are neither the cause nor the effect, must simply accept and move forward
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That’s stoicism not Buddhism
@@goldilocks913 Suppose a man wants a snake, looks for a snake, goes in search of a snake. He then sees a large snake, and with a forked stick he holds it firmly down. Having done so he catches it firmly by the neck. Then although the snake might entwine with (the coils of) its body that man's hand or arm or some other limb of his, still he does not on that account suffer death or deadly pain. And why not? Because of his right grasp of the snake
@@montyhaialeia1603
The ‘grasping the snake’ l think is the wisdom that sees the cause of the suffering and following the eight fold path abandons what needs to be abandoned and achieves what he needs to achieve. Buddha taught suffering and it’s ending, not simply accepting suffering and going forward with it as a state that can never be overcome.
Thanks for your comment 🙏
Beautiful lesson thank you
Thanks for listening🙏
Being soft to everyone in a classroom wouldn't work, so why would it work in real life? Once someone recognizes that all suffering is universal then a more nuanced approach can be taken, because validation in and of itself is a mental construct that is not real. Everything in our lives is not real, but just constructs we create to make sense of our perceptions.
Thank you for this! There is no self in validation.
Thank you. 🙏🏽 ✨
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Sorry I missed one so I will go back, attachment to the outcome limits the manifestation, a craving is a desire unhad and one must feel as though they have it first befor manifestation.
Where I am from this is common sense or being real. All stable families and societies require that we are real to others.
The middle way refers to conditionality and impermanance. There's no reference that I'm aware of that suggests the middle way should be interpreted in any other way.
Amazing
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I am so attached to these truths I desire to live them completely but still I suffer
Aang looking like he been hitting the weights. He a damn steel bender now.
If one really does let go of all attachment - one will be operating outside of Society, I think ….
Yep, spot on
With proper balance, both are possible simultaneously.
As above, so below. As within, so without.
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I thought this was a new take on things. This is just the most common story. You need to dig up the newly translated Pali Tripitaka journals from at Sera Jey Monastic University in southern India. It's hand written notes from a monk about 40 years after Buddha's death.
Really great content, well put together and said. My one critique though, that piano music is kinda elevatory and I had to make myself listen to the talking instead of drifting off, maybe I'm just ADD lol, idk. But thank you for sharing this wisdom 🙏
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Beautiful ❤
Thank you! 😊
"Because I am hard, you will not LIKE me. But, the more you hate me, the more you will learn." --Sgt. Hartman (FMJ)
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Get bright future life 😉
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Is it possible to sit like the people pictured comfortably? It seems like that's a meditation pose but I can not wrap my head around how they can position their feet like that.